She reaches and touches my face to ensure that it is really me
She grasps my arms in the softest place and feels my soul
Her eyes say so much
But see so little
It hurt to let the knife touch you
It hurt to know that you, so delicate and so very small
We watched you bumble around
Patches on your eyes…haha like a pirate.
The day you saw a bird for the first time
My heart leapt.
We learned about your heart.
It is delicate–fragile.
You can’t run with the other children.
You don’t want to.
It is no big deal-you with your silly bubble glasses.
You would rather read anyway.
You know she needs braces now.
Are you kidding me?
I have to tighten the device every night in the back of her throat?
It is no big deal, I guess.
By the way, her spine is crooked.
She needs to wear this silly giant back brace.
For twenty three hours a day.
It makes my stomach flat mom.
I am going to be up front with you
Because that is how I am,
Her heart is at a critical stage.
You might want to see the cardiologist before you let her go to China.
If I don’t go to China
I will just go to Italy.
Or read a book.
Can we go to the book store today? Use dad’s credit card. I will pay you back later.