ohblahdi’s Weblog

{September 1, 2009}   I don’t even know what to say:

After an argument between my mom and melody last night my mom left.  She was complaining about the type of stitches Melody received and Melody became frustrated and sarcastically said she “wanted to slap her right now.” My mom became upset and asked her if she would be happier if she left and never came back.  She left refusing to discuss the problem and Melody left to her room in tears.  Ugh.

My email to mom:

I know you were upset when you left. I also know you were upset last week when Melody wasn’t feeling well and was grouchy. You have to understand that she is a little kid and doesn’t understand how to deal with her emotions. She will take out on those she feels most close to first. You have to be the adult and understand that she will do this. You can’t take it personally and can’t attack her if she does. I know that what she said to you was inappropriate. I plan to speak to her about that, but the way you kept pushing her was uncalled for. Right now she needs to heal.
You also have to understand that she was given the best possible everything available to her. She had a world renowned doctor that we had to fight for, an amazing life saving surgery with impossible abilities. Mom, without this surgery I would have lost my daughter. Can you imagine what we are all going through right now? She has no choice of the medication she is given. It is the medicine or not survive. You can’t make us feel bad about the medicine she has no choice but to take. You can’t be frustrated with the kinds of stitches she has or the kind of home care we were given. We have what we have and I am amazed and thrilled with her recovery.
Melody is comfortable and happy. She is frustrated with how many times she has to hear about her own problems. She doesn’t want to talk about them and she doesn’t like when people talk about them around her. She has a very low stress tolerance right now and has had this problem since she found out about the surgery. Could you imagine what it must be like to be first told that you might have to wear a back brace 24 hours a day, then told you can’t go on a trip you have been training for for a year, and then told that you have to have a surgery or you could die? That is a lot for a little kid to have to deal with.
I am sorry that you are the one she took it out on. You also have to know that if you don’t talk about things, in the right place, they will never resolve. It is not okay that you told my daughter that maybe she would be happier if you never came back the day she came home from the hospital, or ever. You will have to apologize to her and be the bigger person. I would hope that you would never mean such a terrible thing. We love you.
I meant it when I said you speak too much of the negative. I want you to work on that around us. We don’t care who is trying to kill us, who is trying to listen to our phone calls, or how the world is going to end, and how I am going to die from what I eat, read, or listen to. I am a grown woman with a family. Let me decide those things. I like to trust God and be happy with the life he has given us. Mom, I am happy. You need to be happier. Stop worrying about everything and just enjoy life.

Angela, i understand that Melody is going through a lot now, and you are doing all you can. However, no i will not tell her i am sorry for saying what i did after she told me that she would slap me and looking at me as if she could stab me with her eyes. A person can be sick a person can have many reasons to be sad but not to be hateful to anyone. I simply ask a question about the stitches because i have a little medical terminology form education and from job and the patients that tell me things now for 14 years. However according to what this says i seem to know nothing in the medical Field so i leave this along. You can copy this to Peter if you wish as it was like you are making sure that all must go through him what you tell me. I step down my child no more to say.

I meant what i said. I did not know that i brought doom and gloom to your home and family so if this is so it is best that i do not advise you as a mother or visit your home and stay out of the way so that i do not bring doom and gloom to your home and family.

My Reply:
I am going to give you some time and space. I don’t want you to apologize for what you said, I just want you to apologize for telling Melody you never want to see her again. I never want to have you out of my life or the lives of my family. I don’t mean to say you bring doom and gloom, I just think you worry about too many things. I don’t think you are stupid or you don’t know anything medically. I think you know a lot about the medical field. You just get to hear all of the bad stuff. I love Peter and wanted to make sure what I said wasn’t mean spirited and I do tell him everything, especially when it hurts this bad. I just wanted to talk to you and you left. I just want you to not be so worried about everything. I love you and you can decide when you want to come back. Melody loves you too.
I am broken.


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